Updated: Feb 15
You have enough to think about right now. It’s a new decade, a new year, a new month, a new week and a new day tomorrow. It’s a big deal to you. You feel inadequate. Like you desperately need to change something to improve your life. You must do better. You must be better. You feel that no matter which bit you change, you’ll still never ever be enough.
So which bit to choose? Or do you just make a vague resolution to ‘be a better person’ or ‘have a better business’. Perhaps ‘lose weight' or ‘save more money’. Vague allows you to cover more ground. To change more about your life and give you a better chance of being worth more. A better chance of feeling good about your life and yourself. The stress levels need to drop and you need to change so many things all at once to make this new decade/year/month… something wonderful.
If I said this to you about myself, or your friend, your mother, your brother, your partner… you would know instantly that the amount of pressure we are applying to ourselves (and allowing to be added by society) is massively unhealthy. Really really bad. And it is so much more likely that we will fail at our targets because we aren’t invincible octopus people with no need for rest, sleep or nutrients.
If you know this for us and you would feel unhappy allowing us to feel this way, why treat yourself so dreadfully? If you wouldn’t treat a loved one that way theres absolutely no reason to accept that kind of attitude from yourself. What you really need is calm.
I’m not suggesting you grab a yoga mat and hit the beach at 4am to make sure its empty. I’m suggesting that you step back, take a full minute to close your eyes and just concentrate on nothing but your breathing. Big, deep, full breaths.
Big breaths of the air in the world around you that you don’t allow yourself the time to notice.
I’m suggesting you do this and find yourself a quiet place to ‘dump’ all of these changes out onto paper. Seeing it in front of you in the written word, looking at the actual weight you are trying to burden yourself with… can you see why this is not OK? Can you see that it’s not possible to do what you think you need to do? Can you see which ones you really want to work on and which aren’t really important right now? Can you see this as a list of exciting adventures for the future instead of a ton weight of adaptations you need to make to your life in one single day? Can you see progress in taking on one at a time? Can you see the opportunities you’re so lucky to have?
Could you choose just one to start you off? Just one to really focus on and absolutely smash! One to win at before taking on the next? One thing to give you that little sense of achievement that boosts you on to take another step and another?
‘Lose weight’. — Lose 2lb. Feel good. Lose 2 more. Feel better. Lose 2 more. Feel excited. Lose 2 more. Feel proud. Lose 2 more. Feel amazing. Lose 2 more. Oh my goodness! Lose 2 more… A stone! How? Little bit at a time.
Let’s ask these questions. If you had ‘A year to lose 3 stone.' or ‘Lose 2lb a week for 7 weeks, 1lb a week for 6 months after and then simply maintain that weight.’ Which seems more intimidating? Which would you be more likely to fail at? Which one would make you feel good week after week, month after month? Which would give you self confidence and pride in your achievements all year long?
This isn’t about weight but it’s a very easy example to use. You don’t need to change everything in one go. You don’t need to ditch the ones that feel huge and scary. You simply need to see them for what they are and allow yourself to enjoy them. They are POSITIVE changes after all. And you are already progressing by identifying them, listing them, ordering them, choosing them and setting those intentions.
I’m proud of you. Are you?